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Archive for August, 2016

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Yesterday as Nathan and I were talking I asked, “How are you doing, babe”, and he knew what I was referring to. His father passed away a couple months ago on Memorial Day, May 30th. Having lost my brother (2000), Mother (2001), Father (2004), I know that when the funeral is over the grieving has really only just begun. And so I ask him how he’s doing and try my best to be here for him in the grieving process. He looked at me and said  how much he misses his dad, his pastor, the strong man his dad was, etc. And then he said, “I feel numb. Is that normal?”  And I said oh yes it’s perfectly normal. We then discussed the stages of grief people go through. I remember when I was numb and I said the same thing to a nurse in our church and she said, “Oh honey! It’s totally normal to be numb. God made us that way because we couldn’t handle all the grief at one time”.  Today at church I asked my mother-in-law how she was doing and I got the same answer. “You know, Ronda, I’m just numb. I feel so terrible that I’m not feeling more. I loved Billy Joe so much and I miss him but I’m numb”. Once again I said it’s totally normal.

In the books, Healing Grief & You Can Heal Your Heart, David Kessler speaks of this. The first stage of grief (there’s 5) is this excerpt:

“Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle. As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade.”

If you have lost a loved one and are feeling numb, don’t worry, God has you in His hand and as you begin to feel again (more stages of grief) He will continue to carry you.

Psalm 23: Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Keep walking! No you’re not running or skipping right now, but keep walking! Fear no evil! (Will I die from the same illness that took my dad, mom, loved one) God is with you! Fear no evil! The word of God is my comfort! It upholds me! His word sustains me. Just keep walking! You will come through the shadow of death! I’m a living witness that you will feel again and when you do it is precious!

Walk through the valley of the shadow of death! You will come through it!

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